Is it just me or was reading break exhausting? 

The grind never stops and we hustle to the end, but what is the end? I am constantly tackling an undying to-do list which I simply cannot seem to finish. It feels like one accomplishment was a mere stepping stone to the next and I never get to savour my achievements. It’s always too early for contentment because there’s so much more to do and so much more to be. 

I never appreciate how far I’ve come, I only dread how much further I have to go. 

Hustle culture promotes the idea of working endlessly and pushing ourselves to our breaking point. We have been conditioned to believe that the only path to success is an unending ladder we must continually climb with no relent. Hustle culture has glorified the hard-working individual, forcing us to believe that we must always be achieving something and that there should never be a moment of stagnation. 

Psychology professor Rodney Schmaltz says the idea of constantly working and achieving has become glorified. 

This toxic concept has led many individuals to burnout. There is so much to do and so much to achieve, but one can only push themselves so far before they break under the weight of looming deadlines and unrealistic expectations. 

Hustle culture affects everyone, however, university students face the unrelenting extent of the concept. Students are in a position in which along with the stressful inundation of exams and assignments they must balance a job and the lingering beginning of a career which they are constantly trying to pursue. Students find themselves subconsciously competing with their peers for grades and opportunities. 

The more we see others’ accomplishments the harder we push ourselves. While still it seems like everyone is working harder than we are and this takes a toll on our mental state. 

Schmaltz speaks on the social comparison theory, “We look up to somebody we perceive as doing better. There’s benefits in that it might make us work harder, and we might also pick up tips from them on what to do… the downsides makes us feel that we can’t achieve what they’re achieving. So it can be damaging to the self-esteem, and everybody’s different, of course, but it can be especially [damaging] if it’s something you perceive like you just can’t do it.” 

There’s so much I want to achieve in so little time, but how is it that everyone else seems to be accomplishing it all?

I am too often praised for my ambition, but I believe it is my weakness. It pushes me to want so much from myself while I have no clue how to attain any of it. My pursuit of success has ultimately broken me, stamped on my chest is an unsolicited badge of honour for my relentless pursuit, placed in my hands is a heavy burden in which I carry hopeful sentiments from others and myself, the accountability to make myself and everyone else proud. 

As a student myself, it is disconcerting seeing everyone succeed while I fall further behind, I find myself asking, “what is it that I am not doing?” That dreadful ping “I’m happy to announce…” is yet another accomplishment while I have yet to find one thing worth announcing. My fists clench, my knuckles white as I bite back the stinging tears in my eyes while the taunting voice in my head, a deafening clamour, repeats You’re falling behind, why aren’t you doing all that they are, you won’t amount to anything, why do you even try… 

The tormenting voice grows louder, ringing in my ears and pounding in my head but I don’t stop. My teary eyes leak envy, tears of jealousy carve down my cheeks, eyes blurred by unshed tears giving way to a vision of blurry words from which I make out an acclamation, “three-time recipient of… completed a number of internships…published works with the New York Times, best selling author…” and what am I? 

The words amalgamate into an emetic impenetrable collection of words, my heaving chest gives way to lost breaths while cutting tears sear down my cheeks. 

It feels as though I am doing so much, yet nothing at all. Somehow, in some way, my time is stalling and I am miscalculating something. What is it that I have to do? How much harder do I have to push myself? Because I know if I do, I’ll make it — but to where? To yet another existence of unending exhaustion? Just another version of myself grasping for another element of success. Are we even ambitious for ourselves and our passions, or for the societal validation we so desperately wish to attain? 

“It’s inherently rewarding when people are impressed by what we’ve done,” Schmaltz says. 

Are we pushing ourselves to breaking points for that one congratulatory comment? Just so we could be recognized as a successful person praised for our ‘grind’? What will it take? How much more do we have to mentally torture ourselves for the unreachable allure of success? 

The torturous burden of all our futures indelibly weighs on our conscience, no matter how much we do it’s never enough because someone else is always doing more.

Will we ever be satisfied if there’s always something to hustle for? When can I take a breath without the fear of failure cutting off my air? When can I wake up without dreading everything I have to do without knowing where to start? 

Hustle culture has deceivingly convinced us all of a promising future. As long as we torture ourselves enough, push hard enough, and continue dragging our tired feet through a path of perpetual exhaustion, we will reach the end of this path where our ideallic future awaits. 

Constantly working is an award of honour to be flaunted, continually searching for opportunity is worth praise and our list of accomplishments is an oath of our worth. 

Hustle culture has based life on doing more, being more, accomplishing more, gaining more. The tortuous notion associates busyness with productivity, exhaustion with accomplishment, and self-worth with success. It urges us to push past our limits, advising us to work harder and longer until we break. 

This cycle of constant striving is a perilous act of self-depletion. 

Schmaltz states, “University is kind of a time to find what it is you’re really interested in, and if you’re just overwhelmed with everything, you can’t explore…[if] you’re always hustling and grinding, you’re not allowing that opportunity.” 

We are obsessed with turning into someone worth being, while never letting ourselves be. 

It has become a trend, a stamp of approval indicted by constant exhaustion. The grind never stops, as in the work is being crushed by the pressure of our efforts. However, it looks as though we are the ones being crushed under pressure.

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Photo by Amanda Erickson