Or, run a Zyn-athon.

When I was in high school, I used to be a model student. 

(I slept on a couch in the back of science class.)

In my defence, I got good enough marks to get into MacEwan. 

But, behind that couch was an outlet, and the back desks were the territory of the students who vaped in class. I formed a sort of symbiotic relationship with them. They would use the outlet to charge their Juuls (remember Juuls?), and I would sleep on the couch. Since I slept on the couch, no one would come over and bother me, and by proxy, their resources essential to survival: vapes. Truly, a beautiful evolution of bad student participation. 

Fast forward to the present. I hope those guys are doing well. I — believe it or not — have stopped sleeping in class. Yes, you may applaud. So, why do people still vape in class? 

Smoking of any kind inside was banned in Edmonton in 2005, changing a smoker’s ritual from a normal class or office activity to a juvenile act of defiance. Maybe I understood when my 15-year-old peers would vape to spite their teachers, but I hate to see 20 something-year-olds sucking them back on couches by the Early Learning at MacEwan offices. We have kids there, you know. You could make the whole “nicotine cravings” argument, but there are smoking areas outside. The great outdoors has been the Edmontonian smoker’s watering hole for nearly 20 years.

Also, how could you forget the future of nicotine addiction? The office/classroom approved Zyn. 

Run a Zyn-athon guys. 

Harness your inner George Wash-zyn-ton. 

Take a sip of the old Zyn-accino. 

I digress — maybe vaping is your thing. But, if you’re gonna smoke, please follow the guidelines. It’s best for all of us.

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Photo by Amanda Erickson