ARIES
Mar. 21 to Apr. 19
Despite the snowy season, your storm is clearing. I know it’s hard because you tend to throw yourself into the fire. We get that drama is addicting, but you gotta chill. Put on a face mask, throw on a movie, and maybe eat ‘special’ chocolate.
Taurus
Apr. 20 to May 20
Flex your intellect. Put on a mini Wicked performance for your first presentation to show your prof you can hit the beat and the books. Also, you’ll fuck up at some point this month, take accountability for your own actions.
Gemini
May 21 to June 21
Double-teaming your tasks when neither of your personalities can handle them without an oat milk iced latte can be exhausting. January is the time to focus on your personal goals and focus on what is best for everyone.
Cancer
June 22 to July 22
You’re struggling with some feelings that are overwhelming you. It could be your financial situation or the fact that Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching and you don’t have anyone to celebrate it with. Trust your gut when it tells you what you need to do.
Leo
Jul. 23 to Aug. 22
Someone is feeling a little frustrated this month, huh? Let’s be real right now, you did it to yourself. You put too much pressure on yourself to be the spontaneous one. You’re on a path to growth — nurture it.
Virgo
Aug. 23 to Sept. 22
The new semester must be terrifying for overachievers like you. You’ve got sky-high expectations. Take a breather. Lock yourself in a room, unplug, and pretend the outside world doesn’t exist. Your brain will thank you eventually.
Libra
Sept. 23 to Oct. 23
It’s time to celebrate. The drama is finally over, for better or worse. Considering you blew a small problem out of proportion, it’s probably just better. It’s time to leave the issues behind.
Scorpio
Oct. 23 to Nov. 21
Decisions, decisions, Scorpio. Which love interest to pick, where to live, what major to choose. All these are flying at you faster than two planes in 2001. You need to take a step back from these questions and focus on what is best for you. The rest will fall into place.
Sagittarius
Nov. 22 to Dec. 21
Look baby girl, I know you’re scared of what the future holds. With the rise of AI and the downfall of our economy, who isn’t popping Lexapro like they’re M&M’s? Try not to dwell on the things you can’t control and focus on the things you can.
Capricorn
Dec. 22 to Jan. 19
Capricorn, we know you love playing pretend. This month, take on the role of a secret agent. Blend into your surroundings, observe, and then once you have enough information, make the best decision to achieve victory. Think Annabeth Chase from Percy Jackson but sassier.
Aquarius
Jan. 20 to Feb. 18
It’s time to go back to being a student. You spent all of 2024 mastering one thing. Learn a new hobby, like solving a Rubik’s Cube in under a minute or learning how to properly bury a body. Hint: put an endangered plant over top so investigators can’t dig it up.
Pisces
Feb. 19 to Mar. 20
OooooOOoooo, it looks like you are living in a harmonious relationship right now. It could be a bedroom friend or a coffee shop friend, but either way, your life is taking you on a path to self-ownership.