If there was an apocalypse at MacEwan, here’s where I’d be

by | Apr 2, 2024 | Lifestyle, Opinions | 0 comments

As our parents, guardians, older siblings, and other, much wiser people in our lives warn us, we must always be prepared for the worst to happen. Obviously, one of the worst things that could happen while you’re at MacEwan is an apocalypse occurring  as you’re working on an assignment or when you’re in the middle of a class (although, you might be happy that something interesting finally happened in that English class). That being said, I decided to do you all a favour and inform you of the worst and best buildings on campus to be stuck in. So, read carefully — the information included in this article could be life-saving.

I’ll start with the worst. The worst building to be stuck in, solely, totally, and only from a survival perspective, is — sorry, Building 5 haters and fine arts and communications students — Allard Hall. Allard has comfy chairs for sleeping and convenient computer labs, studios, and workshops to busy yourself in. But, there is no food, other than one small MacEwan Eats cart on the main floor that would run out of sustenance in a few hours. So, even though you have lots to do to entertain yourself, you probably won’t survive for long. 

The next building you wouldn’t want to be in is Building 8 (sorry again, Building-5 haters). What could possibly make this building worse than Building 5? It has no computers to entertain yourself with. This building is only for gym lovers and anyone who can stay away from technology for a long time. Although, if you were unlucky enough to be stuck here, you could actually have fun exercising with your peers, which would help burn off the calories you’ve gained from eating at Tim Hortons everyday. You would also have access to showers, which would make it the least smelly building. However, when you become tired after working out or when night hits, there is nowhere comfortable to lay down and rest your aching muscles unless you can make yourself comfortable on a wooden bench. If you’re thinking that the exercise mats could work as beds, trust me, they don’t. Building 5 comes in after Building 8, ONLY because it has computers and couches for sleeping. However, this analysis is up for debate.

Now, this is where things get better. The next two buildings on the list are Building 9 and SAMU. Building 9 is the better option because it has more food options and five floors with numerous couches. And, if you love police-related things, there’s the crime and crime scene labs to check out on the third floor. SAMU only has four restaurants, and the only spots to sleep on are the couches in the student lounge and the first floor.

So, that being said, the best buildings to be stranded in are (drum roll) Buildings 6 and 7 since they are connected without a pedway. Building 7 houses the library, and is filled with books and computers to keep you busy. It also has the Makerspace, where you can make little creations whenever you get bored of books and technology. If you are in need of mental support, the Wellness and Psychological Services are on the first floor. If you want to write a story about the apocalypse going on around you, the Writing Centre could probably help out. Building 6 has many good food options, including Subway, Tim Hortons, Bento Sushi, Oven, the Burger Place, Zoca, and Booster Juice (just to name a few). So, better confine yourselves to Buildings 6 and 7 — you never know just when an apocalypse will occur.

Graphic by Leanna Bressan

Zaneb Alzubaidi

The Griff


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